Spider Man 3 - Hometown Buffet

You’ve tried the best, now try the rest!
In years past you’ve been treated to the delights of an epic buffet for the prior two Easter Sundays. Shrimp cocktail, lamb, fresh omelettes etc. And there’s dessert! Don’t forget dessert. The sweetness of the Spider-Man series comes in the form of Peter Parker balancing day and night job and relationships with his high school crush, MJ, and sweet old aunt whom always warns of late Uncle Ben’s advice: With great power comes great responsibility. It’s an adage the makers of Spidey 3 didn’t take to heart.
You can certainly have too much of a good thing. Denny’s knows perfectly well, but so too does its slightly retarded cousin, The Hometown Buffet.
When it came around for a third installment of going to the buffet, writers Turi Meyer and Al Septien believe, “Hey, if we put even more stuff out, it HAS to be better!”
They could not have been more wrong. Because the buffet trip was planned at the last minute, we were stuck with Hometown Buffet instead of the classy joint we went to the last two times. Sure it has similar buffet qualities, in that it’s all you can eat. But the difference is that this time, quantity is better than quality.
With the best villain of the comic book at their disposal, Venom, the makers of the 3rd installment decided one wasn’t enough.
“Let’s add the sandman! Then, let’s add more of the Gobblin! But first he should get hurt, then he should forget he was evil and help spidey, but not after Parker and Osborn have more squabbles before finally needing to come together again! Then we can have a 2-on-2 cage match battle royale.
So to make room for the sandman, they made less juicy meat (Venom was on screen for 10 minutes maybe?) But to make us feel sorry for the patheitc Sandman, director Sam Raimi made sure to show a locket of Sandman’s daughter at least 6 times per half hour.
What we get in the end is a buffet mixed with a lot of bad food (a chair-dancing emo-haircut Peter Parker) with not enough of the good stuff and too much burnt everything else.
Like any trip to Hometown Buffet, the affair ended (finally) with the collective audience clamoring for Pepto Bismol.