Tired of indie stuff infiltrating your republican dominated town? Escape the coziness and uniqueness of independent think-tanks and venture into this blockbuster establishment of Olive Garden (Transformers) and order the Tour of Italy, alfredo, lasagna, and chicken-parm for $15.95.
Head chef Michael Bay knows exactly what’ll make you (average American) happy: a cheesy mix of poor script:
“Hey, remember home? Yeah, I miss home…”
But also will include the eye-popping gadgetry (the salad tossing scissors) of badass effects, which are actually a treat.
Beware: it may take you an hour to get seated for this blockbuster affair. But once you do sit down it’s an unlimited helping of salad, breadsticks, and too much comedy (Optimus Prime hides from parents?). While it makes you feel like a bastard for falling for all the commercialism, you will indeed leave content, if not feeling even a little bloated.
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